Every individual has a unique gift and passion to give to the world.
A little over a year ago, I walked away from a job that was sucking creativity and individuality out of me. I gave of my time and talent, and in return I was gifted with a subpar salary, ungrateful supervisor, and an environment that was not conducive to growth. I would jokingly call it “where dreams go to die.” The circumstances surrounding my exit were painful, and I stayed in a place of hurt and anger for a while. I was mad, and I wanted answers. Why did this happen to me? Why was it fair that I worked in a government office that was not properly governed? How could my supervisors let someone who was dedicated to our mission and vision go in such a horrible manner? I stayed in this place of why me, until I started to turn the questions on myself. Why did you give your time and talent to a company that did not represent you and how you want to exist in the world? Why were you willing to go to work every day to give to something that you didn’t believe in? Why are you so afraid to trust yourself and the unique gifts and vision that you have for the world? Why are you spending so much time looking behind you, when everything that you’ve always wanted is within you? Those were rhetorical questions, but as soon as I began to answer them, my life opened up. I was offered a part-time position with Playing for Others that helped me to begin to repair and rebuild myself, and ask myself the most important questions of all: Who am I…and how will I give of that?
I have never felt as connected to passion and purpose as I have at this very moment in my life. I feel more connected to my creator, creation, and myself than I have at any other time in my adult existence. I feel awake, alive, and alert. I am full of vision and purpose. All of this happened when I stopped looking for love in all of the wrong places. This statement is usually used to refer to romantic love, but I’m digging a little deeper than that. I’m talking about the love that comes from existing exactly as we are supposed to be. It is that love that we feel for others and ourselves when we are walking in our purpose. You see, I was spending every day going to a job that was suffocating me. I would sit in my car staring out at the grey brick building for what seemed like ages; as I built up the courage to go inside. I cared about the clients that I worked with, and I really connected with some of my co-workers; but I felt empty. I’m learning that when you are the type of person who feels deeply, who needs to be connected to what you are doing; you cannot fake it. Your body and spirit will say no. They will reject you putting them in a place that they don’t belong.
Now, at this point in my life, my soul has found its comfort space. I am creating on a daily basis. I’m writing, producing, and planning multiple projects. I’m blessed to be around other creators. These are creators who believe in the power of their art, and their other unique gifts to change the world. They also believe in the power of these gifts to create lasting, financially rewarding careers. Being around these people has made me more aware of my circle, and the power that those in our circle has to affect change in our lives. I haven’t worked a normal, full-time job since my last experience, but I have not gone without. I’ve had consulting gigs come from places that I could not have visualized while at that dead end job. I believe that if we are choosing to exist as we were born to exist, that God will make a way for us to live. I have a great roof over my head. I have never missed a meal. I am prosperous and free. I am doing so under my own terms. Every individual has a unique gift and passion to give to the world, and I am using mine to be the greatest version of myself possible. That feels amazing.